Stay Classy, Sarah Palin

I can't believe she almost became our vice president. I really can't. Here's our last look at Sarah Palin as governor of Alaska, followed by a quick summary:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Summary:
Part 1: Oh, what a great day it is here in Fairbanks. Support our troops! Our troops are fighters, and they defend the best nation in the world. Today is my last day as governor, but our troops are much more important. America's soldiers deserve our gratitude. Troops, troops, troops. Soldiers. Troops. Protecting our freedoms. Troops.

Part 2: Media - you have such important jobs, and could and should be respected. Shame on you, liberal media, for ruining democracy. "Democracy depends on you, and that's why our troops are willing to die for you. So, how about, in honor of the American soldier, ya quit making things up." Don't be mean to our new governor's family!

Part 3: Alaska, I have served you well, and I was a great governor. We promised ethics reform, and we delivered it. We promised you that you would finally see a fair return on your Alaskan natural resources. It's your money, and you know how to spend it better than the government. [Alaska; America's Saudi Arabia! Give them a few hundred bucks of oil money and you can do whatever you want]. Outside special interest groups still just don't get it. You'll see anti-second amendment circuses from Hollywood trying to take our guns. So much success!

Part 4: To stay successful, we must resist enslavement to big and central government. Big government destroys freedom. No one will work hard anymore, and the economy will crash. And it makes us less free. Washington D.C. is destroying Alaska! Government "can't make you healthy or wealthy or wise. What can? The wisdom of the people".

Part 5: Alaska is a contributor and securer of America. The pressing issue of our time is energy independence, and Alaska will lead with energy. "Alaska is the gatekeeper of the continent".

Part 6: Why I made a decision to chart a new course for the state. "It is because I love Alaska this much, sir, that I feel it is my duty to avoid the typical, unproductive, business as usual, lame duck session in one's last year in office. How does that benefit you?" [umm...how about staying in office and not being a lame duck]. "Now with this decision, I will be able to fight even harder for you". [she might actually believe this]. Tod, Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, Trig...[quote from earlier, "mean liberal media - don't be mean to my family (even though I drag them into this)"]

I was 99% certain I would hear, "you won't have old Sarah Palin to kick around anymore", a la Richard Nixon.

And don't forget, support our troops.